Chase’s letters
by Sasha2702
Summary: Chase is falling further and further down the road of depression and he eventually does something drastic. His family finds twelve letters he has left behind that help explain his actions. Collab written with Pumkin521. Warnings: major character death
1. January

**A/N: Hey everyone! It's Sasha here and I wrote my first ever lab rats collab with the amazing Pumkin521. I wrote chapters 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11 and 13. Pumkin wrote chapters 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12 and 14. Since this story has rather dark themes, there will be warnings at the beginning of each chapter. **

**Warnings:**

 **Not much for this chapter really, um...**

 **\- Lying?**

 **\- Cursing?**

 **\- Getting bad grades?**

Chase exited the elevator and stepped into the secret underground lab. He glanced around warily before calling his siblings and father's names out loud. "Adam? Bree? Mr. Davenport?" He hoped his family hadn't figured out the mission alert they got earlier was fake. He didn't know exactly how much time he would have but he hoped it would be about 20 minutes or so before they came back. When no one answered, the bionic teenager ventured further down the hall to where their capsules were. "Leo? Tasha?" He risked hesitantly even though he knew fully well the Dooley's weren't going to be home from their trip to Rose's house until next weekend. Chase sighed in relief and took a seat at the cyber desk. The boy pulled up a folder marked: SCHOOL on the computer and started scrolling down. His heart was beating very quickly in his chest, all of his senses in alert for anyone seeing him.

Finally, just as he began to think he might've pulled up the wrong file, he found what he had been searching for. Chase clicked on the specific file he needed and read his grades out loud. The sophomore practically flinched at how bad they were. He barely passed math class with an average of 30%. He was supposed the be the smartest man in the world! How could this happen? Shaking his head and telling himself to focus on the task, Chase looked down to start changing the grades but before he could even start, someone yelled in a very angry tone: "Stop right there, mister!"

Chase turned around slowly to find himself face to face with a very angry Mr Davenport who was literally boiling with anger. His genius inventor father figure shoved a paper in front of his face, too close to read much of it but Chase still managed to make out the title: Student Report Cards: Chase Davenport.

Chase cursed internally, feeling angry at himself. How could he forget to get rid of the paper copy sent in the mail? "Chase." Asked Donald slowly as if speaking with a 5 year old. "What were you doing?" Chase chuckled nervously. "Uh… just looking for new abilities to unlock?" He tried. "Oh, okay." Answered Donald calmly. "Do you think I'm a fool?" He yelled, making Chase flinch because of his bionic hearing. "When we got to the mission site, no one was there. And you wanna know something interesting?" Chase swallowed loudly, staring at his father. "Eddy told me he saw you program a FAKE mission alert on me, Adam and Bree's phones." Chase's eyes widened. "I thought I unplugged him…" he mumbled. Donald couldn't believe his ears. "You what!" He yelled, making Chase flinch again. "I can't believe you mister. I…" he was interrupted by his phone ringing. He checked it quickly and frowned. He shoved it into his pocket and pointed a finger on Chase. "This better be a real mission alert. You are grounded. No leaving the lab until I come back and no using the cyberdesk!" Donald stormed out quickly turning Eddy on so he could make sure Chase stayed downstairs.

As soon as Davenport leaves, Chase pulls Eddy's wires out to make the weird little robot go away. He goes into his capsule and lifts up the back quarter of the floor tile. There, is stashed a secret notebook with a pen next to it. Chase grabs it and leans onto the wall comfortably to write.

 _January 22nd_

 _Last week was exam week_ _at school. I got terrible marks. I just don't know what happened. I'm supposed to be the smartest guy on the planet. Passing a simple high school test should be easy._

 _I am quite certain that Mr. Davenport would be extremely mad if he saw I got a 20 in science or a 12 in English. That's why I tried to change my grades. I just needed a second chance! I feel so stupid… If only I had remembered about Eddy and the paper copy they send by mail…_

 _I remember Leo told me, Adam and Bree exams were like tests, but longer and harder. I thought I was ready but the truth is, I've never had an exam before._

 _This semester, I had math, English, advanced science and technology. I had a bit of trouble with those classes for some reason. I tried asking Mr. Davenport for help before but he always brushed me off. Once, I asked him if he could explain a math problem. It was about a week ago as we were preparing for 10th grade exams. It was late and i was tired. I guess I could've figured it out myself but he helped everyone with their homework so i decided to give it a shot._

 _"Mr. Davenport?" I asked from the kitchen table. He looked up from his tablet and answered: "uh? What do you want Chase?" I came to show him the complicated problem I was working on. "Could you help me with this?" Before he could answer, Bree rushed in super fast using her super speed. "Yes!" She squealed in excitement. "I just got a job at the mall with Caitlyn!" Totally ignoring me, Mr. Davenport just left with her._

 _And that's only one example. There were a bunch of times when he pushed helping me with work to the side._

 _I don't really know why I tried to change my grades. I guess it's because I don't want him to be disappointed._

 _I have to work harder and not ask questions. That way, maybe he'll be proud of me._

 _Signed,_

 _Chase Davenport_

Just as he finished writing his letter, Chase heard his siblings coming back from the mission. The bionic teenager pushed his secret notebook back into the hidden floorboard. He swallowed the tears threatening to fall out of his eyes before stepping out of his capsule. He plugged Eddy back in just as Mr. Davenport, Adam and Bree got to the basement. Chase did his best not to look too suspicious as he stood up from his chair. All while he was getting grounded by Donald, Chase couldn't help but let his mind wander back to the letter under his capsule.

 **A/N: Alright, thanks for reading. Hope you all liked it.**

 **(Fun fact: reviews help us update faster so be sure to leave one!)**


	2. February

**A/N: Chapter two is here! As mentioned in he previous chapter, the awesome Pumpkin521 is the one who wrote this. Enjoy!**

 **Warnings:**

 **\- underaged drinking**

Chase was still thinking about his notebook and his letter. He then thought to himself, _why is he acting like this?_ and then he remembered when Trent bullied him, Adam threw him around, Bree called him a nerd, Most of all, when they left him out when they were talking about the mission they had before he wandered off and got caught in the avalanche.

He felt so angered that he started crying, then realizing how mad he was at his family. Leo and Tasha were the only ones who cared for him but they never stood up for him. He then asked his adoptive father/uncle "Where's Adam and Bree?" and his reply was "Bree is with Caitlyn and Adam is at the gym" and then Chase nodded with a little disappointment about what he was about to do. He went towards the elevator to go upstairs interrupted by Mr. Davenport saying "Whoa mister! Where are you going, you are grounded"."And then Chase replied with "I'm getting something to eat upstairs, what you going to keep me locked up like you did with us for 15 years". He was getting more angry with Mr. Davenport. "EXCUSE ME WHAT DID YOU SAY" Mr Davenport yelled so loudly, Chase flinched with his super hearing. "I said, I'm going upstairs" Chase said using his molecular kinesis to throw Mr. Davenport back. He then ran to the elevator to go upstairs and grabbed his 'Father's' tablet on the way to leave him stuck at the lab and he wirelessly disabled Eddy. He went upstairs to Mr. Davenport's room, stealed a Cyber mask and took Mr. Davenport's ID from his wallet before leaving the house. He then walked to the nearest bar and got in easily thanks to the cyber mask and his 'Father's' ID. He then went to the bartender, asked for vodka and sat down and drank it. He then asked for a few more and just like that he was getting drunk. All of a sudden he heard "YOU'RE IN SO MUCH MORE DEEPER TROUBLE" sounding like Donald Davenport. He stood up to see his 'father' and his two siblings as Mr. Davenport disabled the cyber mask Chase, took his own ID "back" and pulled Chase out of the bar. Chase had a hard time walking so his sister, Bree, and his brother, Adam had to help Mr. Davenport get Chase out of the bar. They then got inside their 'father's' car and closed the door. "Chase what were you thinking" Mr. Davenport asked. They all heard nothing so Mr. Davenport asked the question again but louder, and woke Chase up. "Huh" Chase asked groggily and closed eyes. Mr. Davenport started driving and they arrived at the house in under a minute, considering that the bar was just 0.4 miles away from the house and Donald was speeding. They all helped Chase into the lab and to his capsule. Donald typed in his cyber desk some commands while Adam and Bree were on their phones. Then all of a sudden, Chase's capsule started blinking green and blue lights. "Mr. Davenport, what's happening with his capsule" Bree asked Donald. "The capsule is rebooting his system so the effects of the alcohol he was taking will go away". After 30 more seconds of the capsule blinking, Chase then came out and asked "What happened, and why do I have a pounding headache?". "What you need to do is tell us what went through your head when you locked me up in the lab, took a cyber mask and STOLE my ID to go to a BAR" Mr. Davenport yelled making Chase flinch once again. Then there was a pause until Mr. Davenport backed away slowly. "HEY, WHY ARE YOU BACKING AWAY, YOU SCARED LITTLE PUNK?" sounding like Spike. "Looks like someone brought out Spike" Bree said to Mr. Davenport and then he looked back at her with a face that clearly said 'No shit'. Bree then began stalling Chase with her super speed, giving Mr. Davenport and Adam a ride around the house". Then after a good five minutes of Bree speeding all around the house, Chase looked almost as shocked as he looked confused. Then after a minute of chilling out, Mr. Davenport asked the same question he did before but sounding a little more soothing, trying not to bring Spike out again. "Maybe you guys would understand why I'm acting this way if you payed a little more attention to me" Chase said walking down to the lab. Chase then went inside his capsule and lifts up his tile to see his notebook and pen. He took it out and wrote

 _February 5th_

 _It's been almost a month that I have been grounded and my family is still treating me like shit and I am getting sick and tired of it. Today, I went to a bar thinking that it would take my mind off what has been happening and just a few minutes later they show up. One thing I could've done was disable my GPS signal. But it's all done now, so much for going to the bar. Meanwhile, I was stuck in the lab, I couldn't watch tv, or go to the library. We would train everyday and it would be annoying, because afterwards Adam would always punch me for being the little one out of the three, and would call me a party pooper and a whole bunch of other shit. Sometimes I would sneak into my phone but only to find messages from Trent calling me a loser, a punk ect... I couldn't go to school, and I love school. It's been torture and it keeps on building up. Today, they brought out the worst in me and turned me into Spike. Only three more weeks until I get ungrounded and I can go back to school. Until then this is going to be torture._

 _Signed,_

 _Chase Davenport_

I then close my book and put it back in the hidden tile in my capsule and I went to sleep, hoping I wouldn't be woken up by my annoying family.

 **A/N: Thank you so much for reading! Please let us know your thoughts!**


	3. March

**Warnings:**

 **\- Smoking**

 _March 29th,_

 _My punishment is finally over. It's been almost a month since I went to that bar; two since I got those terrible grades. Mr. Davenport finally decided it was enough. He put an end to my (totally unfair) grounding about a week ago._

 _It's was about time! I was getting sick and tired of having the same routine everyday. Train, eat, sleep and train some more. Being Adam's personal punching bag wasn't fun either. Being laughed at for being the smallest and called names by my older siblings: none of that was fun. Plus, I was itching to go back to school. Even though it's defined not paradise over there with Trent bullying me and all, it's still much better than being a prisoner in my own house with Eddy as my babysitter._

 _The first day I went back to Mission Creek High on Monday was a little awkward. Everyone kept asking were I'd been for the past months. Adam, Bree, Leo and I told everyone I got a concussion because Mr. Davenport didn't want the school to investigate. No one asked any follow up questions, which is good since we didn't have a background story, and they all left me alone. I had a lot of work to catch up on but that didn't bother me. The teachers said I could take as long as I needed but the truth is, I'll probably just hand it all next Monday._

 _Honestly, before I went back, 'Dad' took me aside and we had a long (boring) conversation about trust and responsibility. He told me he "wants to trust me but trust must be earned" and "to earn it, I must be responsible." He said he was very disappointed about my behaviour, that he expected more from me and her he hoped I learned my lesson. After, he let me leave for school with my brothers and sister._

 _All week, I noticed my siblings wouldn't leave me alone, like ever, except to go to class. They followed me everywhere and whenever I tried to excuse myself from the group, one of them would find a pretext to follow me. It was rather annoying and especially infuriating to see they didn't trust me to be alone, especially after the talk I had with our 'father'._

 _When I was with Leo, it wasn't too bad. He simply followed me around like a lost puppy until the first bell rang. His eyes would widen in panic and he'd rush down the hallway yelling for people to get out of his way so he wouldn't be late to class. Bree is always too wrapped up in her phone to care about anything else I do. If I try to talk to her, she just ignores me and keeps laughing and smiling stupidly at her screen. But if I try to leave, she follows me without ever looking up from her cell. Adam is the worst. He punches me and throws me around. He doesn't seem to care when I say stop, or when I showed him a few of my bruises after he threw me into the lockers and he definitely didn't seem to care when I told him I didn't want to be stashed into my own locker. Did he listen? Obviously not! Before I knew it, I got shoved and locked inside and i stayed there for almost the whole day. It's a wonder Spike didn't come out yet._

 _Friday was no better. During gym, Trent bullied me again. He followed me into the boys bathroom and pushed me against the wall. He punched me in the face and almost gave me a black eye. He tried to shove my head into the toilet but luckily I was able to kick free and run out the door just in time. When I hid outside near the dumpsters, I saw a guy I've never seen before._

 _He looked older than me, maybe in his early twenties or late teens. The guy was wearing ripped jeans and a blue hoodie. He had short black hair and was facing away from me. I don't think he realized I was standing behind him. When he turned around, I saw that he had bright green eyes and a small scar right above his right eyebrow. He was smoking and looked surprised to see me. He took the cigarette out of his mouth and smiled, calmly walking towards me. I wasn't sure what to do. Should I run and tell on him? I've heard about child predators and although they usually stalk girls, I know it can happen to boys as well. But the way he looked at me, I didn't feel threatened._

 _He introduced himself and I think he said his name was Shawn or something like that. He took a pack out of his pocket and offered me one. I refused because I've heard about drugs. I know that once you're addicted it's extremely hard, sometimes even impossible, to stop. But I also know how it can make you feel so good and give you a boost of dopamine. As I was still hesitating, he insisted._

 _"It's the best," he told me. "You get bullied a lot, don't you?" He stated matter of factly after examining my face for a few moments. I felt my face heat up as I nodded. "What do you know about it?" I asked a little angrily. He raised his hands as a sign of peace and chuckled. "I know because I've been in your situation." He told me._

 _He said that his brothers used to make fun of him for being the smallest of them four and that he got pushed around by a band of popular jocks at school. "I found these cigarettes one day and you won't believe how good I felt after smoking for the first time. It's like you forget about all your worries and suddenly you feel good again."_

 _That sounded very appealing but no matter, I still couldn't convince myself to do it. After seeing all my hesitation, he sighed and took out three cigarettes from the pack. He tied them together with a pink colored elastic that was in his pocket (why was it even in there?). He handed them over to me and said: "give it a try and if you want more, meet me here on Monday." I reluctantly took them from him and hid them up my sleeve for until I'd be able to put them away in my backpack._

 _It's Sunday and I tried them this morning.Shawn was right. The feeling was incredible,even better than I imagined. I had to stop myself from using all of them at once. I stole a 20 dollar bill from Mr. Davenport's wallet while he wasn't looking and stuffed it inside my backpack. I don't know how much he'll ask for a pack of cigarettes but I hope that'll be enough._

 _Until then, I just hope no one finds the ones I'm still hiding in my capsule._

 _Signed,_

 _Chase Davenport_

Chase placed his treasured items (his notebook and his cigarettes) into his favorite hiding spot. He got up and went up to the kitchen for a glass of water. He couldn't wait to see Shawn again at lunch.


	4. April

**Warnings:**

 **\- Cutting class**

 **\- One aided boy/boy feelings**

It was a month since Chase's siblings have been on top of him almost everywhere. But it all stopped three days ago. Shawn had been insisting for Chase to cut class with him one day and Chase kept refusing. Today though, Chase was having a rough day. Adam took advantage of him and fractured his arm. Mr. Davenport gave him painkillers, put his arm in a cast and told him to go to school, so Chase did. Why does this happen to me? Am I really this weak? Chase thought to himself not realizing that the bell was ringing, and he then checked his phone and saw the time was 10:45AM, twenty minutes late to history class. Chase started walking to his class and then saw Shawn sneaking out the building. "Shawn, what are you doing" Chase asked. "I'm not going to class, I'm going to the park nearby" Shawn replied to Chase's question. Chase then started wondering if he should join Shawn. "You mind if I come" Chase asked and Shawn said "No."

The two boys went to the nearby park. "What's up Chase, you aren't like the nerdy boy I hear you are" Shawn blurted out. Chase turned around and stared at Shawn, replying with "I changed that's it". The boys then arrived at the park and sat down on the slide. "Chase, I know that may have offended you but I want to be there for you" Shawn explained to Chase. "My siblings in fact my whole family just don't understand what is happening in school and who I actually am" Chase said with tears in his eyes. Shawn then hugged him and said "If this makes you feel any better, I grew up in Bronx, New York and one of my closest friends got shot last year and nobody seems to care about her" and then started sobbing on top of Chase's lap. Chase then wiped the tears from his eyes and stated "I guess we both are going through things" and wiped Shawn's tears off. They then kissed and smoked pot together until lunch. They then walked to school and sat near each other at lunch. Then Trent showed up to the table and asked "Yo, can you sell me some weed, I'll pass you a fifty, and why are you sitting with this punk" and poked my forehead back. "Yes and he is a friend of mines" Shawn replied. Chase frowned when he heard the word friend and walked out the cafeteria and went home. He entered this house and threw himself on the couch. "Chase what are you doing here? You're supposed to be at school" Mr. Davenport asked. "I don't feel well" Chase replied and went downstairs to the lab. The phone rang and Mr. Davenport then came down the stairs furious with Chase. "Want to explain to me why you cut your history class" Davenport said with a stern voice "I was at the nurse and I told you I feel sick" Chase explained nervously. "Chase says he was at the nurse can you ask the nurse if he was actually there" Donald asked Chase's history teacher and put the phone on speaker and mute. "I'M NOT DUMB, YOU SMELL LIKE PURE WEED SO TELL ME THE TRUTH OR YOU WILL GET GROUNDED AGAIN" Mr. Davenport yelled at Chase and un-muted the phone and heard "No sir he wasn't at the nurse. "Ok fine I cut class and I smoked a little bit of weed but that is because you guys are barely paying attention on what has been going on" Chase explained, starting to cry. "Fine you aren't grounded but don't ever cut class again and most of all don't do stupid shit like smoking weed" Donald said walking to the elevator. Chase then continued to sob and took out his notebook from his secret safe place and wrote

 _April 13th_

 _Today when I cut class with Shawn I felt more closer to him than ever. I think I have feelings for him and that is why I ran out on him like that. I only took a little weed and didn't inhale good so I didn't get the effects. When I got home and my 'father' found out that I have been going through something he didn't even attempt to find out what was happening to me. The only person who noticed is Shawn and that is what made me like him. I know that we only known each other for a month but he is the only one truly by my side. My siblings are just not understanding me enough and Tasha has been working a lot lately, so I barely spend time with anyone and that is just my life. Shawn went through something and nobody seems to care about it and that is what is happening to me, only that it isn't as severe as what Shawn is going through. The fact that I have no one to help me or even listen to me is embarrassing and now that I do have a person to talk to Trent comes and ruins the fun. I hope Shawn feels the same way about me, that I feel about him. Until then I'm still going to enjoy a company of a real friend._

 _Signed,_

 _Chase Davenport_

He then put the notebook back. It was 2:30 PM and then Chase heard Adam, Bree and Leo come into the house. Chase then went upstairs to get an apple to snack on and heard Bree ask him"Where were you?" and Adam then blurted "Probably at the library since he has no social life" and then Chase ran upstairs with tears in his eyes and locked himself in the bathroom. He then sat down and took out a little ziploc bag with weed and rolling paper he had and rolled up a joint. After that he took a lighter that Mr. Davenport hid in case of emergencies and lit up the joint and smoked it, making sure he inhaled the drug this time.


	5. May

**Warnings:**

 **\- Bullying**

 **\- Purging**

It's May and Chase hasn't given up any of the bad habits he picked up over the winter. He goes to the park everyday with Shawn and the boys smoked weed together. When Mr. Davenport asked where Chase was going after school everyday, he simply answered he was working at the library. Davenport felt a little suspicious about what his 'son' said but he decided to let it slide. The inventor thought maybe he had been a little too hard on the kid lately. So, he told Chase's siblings not to follow him around anymore. Anyway, the days passed by quickly and the winter snow soon melted away. As Chase spent more and more time with Shawn, he felt his feelings for his friend evolve into something new, something stronger. He wasn't sure what Shawn felt for him. That was why he didn't say anything about his feelings, from fear of scaring off the older boy.

Today was no different. At lunch, Chase meet up with Shawn at their usual spot behind the school. "Sorry, I have to go." Said Shawn, getting up. "Why?" Asked Chase, standing up as well. "Oh, don't worry. It's just I need more weed and the guy who gets it for me just got a new batch." Chase smiled and said "Ok, you better give me some of the good stuff tomorrow." He added teasingly. Shawn laughed "Ok" before running off. A few moments later, Trent came out and walked up to Chase. "Hey, punk!" He yelled. Chase turned around. "How can you believe anyone likes you?" said Trent, circling around Chase. "How can you even think Shawn likes you?" The bully scoffed. "No one can love you Chase." He got closer to whisper in Chase's ear. "You know why? Because you are so fat, it's disgusting." He pushed Chase, making him stumble slightly backwards. "I can't even look at you. I don't know how Shawn does it." Chase rolled his eyes and acted like the words coming out of Trent's mouth didn't affect him and he pushed past his bully: "Stop it Trent." He went back inside as the bell started to ring and he quickly disappeared into the flow of students heading to class.

After school, Chase went directly home, Trent's words still echoing in the back of his mind. He sat at the kitchen counter, starring a little absent-mindedly at the bowl of fruit in front of him. "Come on Chase, what are you waiting for?" asked Bree impatiently, walking past her younger brother and towards the elevator. "Yeah," said Adam to back up his sister. "Mr. Davenport said we have training like right now." He ruffled Chase's hair as he walked up behind him. Chase stood up and called out: "uh, yeah. I'll, I'll be right with you guys." Instead of going to the basement however, Chase headed to the upstairs bathroom. He took off his shirt and took a good look at himself in the mirror. _Trent was right,_ he thought bitterly, pinching his stomach and trying to suck it in. He tried examining it from all sorts of different angles, with shirt and without shirt but no matter what he attempted, he was always just too fat. He took out the scale from underneath the sink and weighed himself. He was 118 lb. "Chase! We're starting!" yelled Bree from the basement. Chase sighed and put the scale away. He went downstairs to work with his brother and sister but only half of his heart was really into the activity as his mind was extremely preoccupied by Trent's harsh words.

The next day during gym class, Trent came up to Chase in the change room. He grabbed the smaller boy by the shoulder and whispered into his ear: "No one likes you, and it's all because you're so fat." Trent smirked as he walked away. He turned on his heels right before he got to the door. "Remember that now, Chase." Chase got changed quickly because he had to meet up with Shawn in five minutes. When he arrived at the park though, he couldn't help but feel very self conscious about his body. He looked at Shawn and felt a pinch of jealousy at his friend's body. Since it was hot out, the older boy was wearing ripped jeans with a black muscle shirt. The muscles in his arms were quite obvious and his stomach was nice and flat with a few abs even showing through his shirt. In contrast, Chase felt as if stomach was too fat and his arms and legs were too flabby. Shawn touched him and Chase pulled back, feeling uncomfortable at the idea of Shawn touching his disgusting body. "You know what, I gotta go," said Chase. "What… wait!" called Shawn with a hurt expression on his face but it was too late. Chase had already run off.

When Chase got home, he went straight to the bathroom. He kneeled in front of the toilet and closed his eyes. He remembered reading on how to do this. Chase took a deep breath and used a finger to trigger his gag reflex. It took him a few tries to get it right but soon enough he was puking his guts out in the toilet. He flushed and the vomit simply went away. Chase grabbed some mouthwash and gurgled it. He spit into the sink. The vomit was gone but the smell was still there, stinking up the bathroom. Before Chase can think of a way to get rid of the nasty odor, he hears someone coming home. Someone knocks on the door. "Hello? Anyone in there?" asked Tasha softly. Chase replied: "Yeah, one moment Tasha." He stumbled out of the bathroom and did his best to look sick. "Oh honey!" exclaimed Tasha. She pulled Chase close to her and touched his forehead. "You're burning up, go lay down" Chase smiled weakly and went downstairs. Before he left, he said to Tasha gratefully: "Thanks." She smiled sweetly at her youngest step son. "You're welcome Chase."

The next morning, Tasha decided Chase still shouldn't go to school. She called the principal to excuse his absence and told him to rest up. Chase kept his eyes shut and pretended to sleep. She kissed his forehead before leaving for work. Once he was sure she was gone, he got up and went down to the kitchen for a snack. He made himself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and quickly ate it. After eating it, he felt very bloated so he went upstairs to purge again. So when his father/uncle and his step-mother got home, he pretended to have been sick again.

 _May 19th_

 _Today, I purged again at school. I don't know, no matter how little I eat and how much I purge, my weight never seems to be low enough. I went on the scale this morning and I was at 105 lbs. That's still too fat. My stomach was practically spilling out of my pants._

 _No one has realized I'm doing this yet and I don't think they even care. Trent is right, no one can love me, at least not until I lose a lot of weight and my stomach isn't the size of a pregnant woman's belly._

 _At school, Trent came up to me and kept telling me about how fat I am, as always. I also realize I've been avoiding Shawn a bit. Okay, maybe a lot but I know I'm just not good enough for him. Not yet at least. I just need a bit more time and then I'll be ready. I'm just… too fat right now._

 _Signed,_

 _Chase Davenport_


	6. June

**Warnings:**

 **\- Cutting**

 **\- Mentions of many of the the bad habits from previous chapters (smoking, binging/purging, lying)**

It's been six months since Chase has been acting a little weird for himself. He got into the habit of smoking and binging on foods and then vomiting it out afterwards. So far, he had lost 20 pounds in one month. His parents have been suspicious on his behavior but soon enough believed Chase's lies. Chase went into his laptop on a rainy sunday night and searched up 'how to deal with emotional pain' and something about cutting popped up. He clicked on the website and read about how cutting is a form of self harm and some people cut to feel physical pain instead of mental. "Does this actually work?" asked Chase. He then read on some people who told their stories on cutting and it worked for them. So Chase decided to go upstairs to the bathroom and locked the door. He then opened the cabinet and saw a razor, alcohol pads and bandages. "Score" he mumbled and took out the razor out the cabinet and sat down on the floor. He cut once and he flinched on the pain and then he cut another time and started tearing. "This isn't helping me at all and it's making a mess" Chase mumbled and grabbed a alcohol pad and wiped the blood and wiped the two cuts. He then bandaged them and went to the lab, where no one was and changed into a hoodie and shorts. You see Adam, Bree, Leo and Tasha went to a arcade and asked Chase if he wanted to go, but Chase refused. So Chase watched tv until he fell asleep.

 **Time skip; 2 hours later***

"Mr. Davenport that was awesome" Bree Davenport said as they entered their driveway. "Yeah who knew arcades were that fun" Adam chimed in and Tasha and Leo laughed. They all entered the house and saw Chase sleeping in the couch with the tv on. Then Mr. Davenport glanced at the kitchen sink which was full of dishes Chase was supposed to wash and he also saw Chase's homework on the dining table not even done. "CHASE DAVENPORT WAKE UP AND EXPLAIN WHY THE DISHES AREN'T DONE!" Mr. Davenport yelled. Chase then lifted his eyes slowly and realized that he forgot to wash the dishes. "Mr. Davenport I-" Chase began to say but was interrupted by angry Mr. Davenport. "CHASE THERE IS NO EXCUSE WHY THEY AREN'T DONE, YOU HAD TWO HOURS!" Mr. Davenport yelled. "Fine" Chase said and got up to do the dishes and started crying, not because he was sad but because he was mad. Chase washed the dishes and then went to the bathroom and took out the razor, rolled up his sleeve and began cutting himself in his right arm.

Cut; _Mr_. _Davenport_

Cut _; His siblings_

Cut; _Trent_

Cut; _Shawn_

Then Chase turned the water to cold and washed the blood that was dripping through Chase's four deep cuts. Then Chase wiped it with a towel, wiped the four cuts with a alcohol pad and bandaged them, but while he did that he was crying. His anger turned into a wave of sadness and guilt. This would've never happened if Chase wasn't the way he was. EVERYTHING is wrong with Chase. At least that is the way he feels. Chase rolled down the sleeve, cleaned his mess up and exited the bathroom. He then went down to the lab with tears in his eyes and took out his notebook and wrote

 _June 2nd_

 _Today I started cutting for the first time and it was weird the first 2 times I cut myself. After that I was bored and decided to watch tv and as I did I guess I fell asleep. A few hours later my 'father'_

 _came from the arcade and he yelled at me for forgetting to do the dishes. You see this is the reason I am acting like this, because it seems like Chase never satisfies people. After I did the dishes I went to the bathroom and cut myself four more times in my right arm, and now i have a total of six deep cuts on my right arm. The third one is for my 'father', Mr. Davenport, the fourth is for my siblings, my fifth is for Trent and the last one is for Shawn. No one seems to care about my feelings that much except for Shawn, but I barely talk to him that much because of the feelings I have for him. No one seems to notice that I have been off and that I have feelings. Right now I am proud the say I HATE MYSELF AND I HATE MY LIFE._

 _Signed,_

 _Chase Davenport_

Chase then put his notebook where it belonged, wiped his tears and got ready for the Sunday night training on the simulator.


	7. July

_July 14th,_

 _I am currently sitting in the back of a police car. We are on our way to the police station. There is a black cage separating me from the officer driving the vehicle and silver cuffs are bounding my wrists together. Yes, I just got arrested._

 _Why am I there? Good question. It all happened so fast, I'm not really sure. It was an accident, a fluke; a simple mistake. I got caught 'trading' drugs illegally in the park. Or at least, that's the official reason._

Chase sat on the hard metal bench behind the bars at the police station. A man, probably in his thirties, sat in a spinning chair. He was listening to music with his red headphones and bopping his head in sync with the song he was listening to. He had his back to Chase and wasn't really paying that much attention. A younger man came in, a boy with blond hair and remarkably blue eyes and a serious look on his face (probably a newbie, guessed Chase) came in. He asked Chase for his parent's phone number. For a minute, he considered lying and telling the policeman his parents were dead or giving a fake number, but he knew that was too risky. Mr. Davenport was a well known inventor and multi-millionaire. His youngest son getting arrested wasn't news that would get ignored. Knowing he didn't have much of a choice, Chase reluctantly gave the blond officer his father's work number. As he dialed the number, Chase crosses his fingers behind his back, half praying that his father would be too busy to answer. Unfortunately, his prayers were left unanswered and Mr. Davenport picked up after the second bell. The policeman and him exchanged a few words explaining the situation before hanging up. The man told Chase he'd get to leave after his father came in and signed a few papers and that he (Chase) answered a few questions. Chase nodded, his mind only feeling worried about what his father/uncle would have to say when he came to pick him up. He would most definitely be extremely mad. Chase wondered how bad his punishment would be this time. Considering his dad's reaction after seeing a couple of bad grades, Chase concluded he would probably never see the light of day again.

 _It was around 1 or 2 in the afternoon. I was at the Mission Creek park, just as I had been doing every day now since the beginning of summer. I usually met up with Shawn and we'd have lunch (I'd purge after) and we would just talk while smoking our weed. We were usually alone. It has a large field of yellowish brown grass and benches all around it. There is a broken swing set in the middle of a sandbox and a red slide in another. Monkey bars connect both sandboxes and there's grass in between. Even though it's a nice playground, there are never many, if ever any, children. Maybe it's because we were there but I'm not sure. Either way, what was slightly different today was that Trent was there with me instead of Shawn. What was very different was that he may have given me about twenty dollars for a nice pack of weed, which I gave to him. And what was extremely different, the biggest difference between all those other times and now, was that there was a police officer who just happened to be passing by the park. He arrested me and Trent ran away before he could take the drugs away. He took the drug money from me and lead me into his car. He said he was bringing me to the police station for 'illegal drug trafficking'. But I swear, that's not the full story. That's not what actually happened._

Mr. Davenport arrived at the station very quickly thanks to his really fast new car. Well, that and he was speeding again. After signing a few papers and paying a fine, they let Chase out of the small 'jail'. Before they could leave however, a few more steps needed to be taken. Chase was brought to a private room where he got patted down and checked for more drugs. Lucky for him, none were found since they were all with Shawn. Afterwards, Chase was interrogated by the Blue-Eyes. Who was he was working with or for, how did the drugs get into his possession, when did he start, etc. It was a very long process but Chase managed to mix truth and lies together, twisting them into a tightly woven web so that they were hard to distinguish one from another. When the Davenport duo was finally free to go, it was well past supper time (not that Chase was planning on eating anyway) and the sun was already starting to set. Mr. Davenport's face was bright red with anger as they buckled in their seatbelts. Chase knew Mr. Davenport was very furious. He prepared himself mentally for his father to explode and start screaming at him but he still winced at the loudness of his yells. The car ride home was a very long and painful one for the poor bionic teen's ears. He was barely listening to the words coming out of Donald's mouth anymore as they were mostly repeating the same things. Chase looked outside by the window, wondering if Shawn had done it on purpose. Did he set him up? Why? Chase thought they got along pretty well. Why would his friend (love) betray him in such a way? Tears were starting to form in his eyes but the young boy quickly wiped them away with the back of his hand.

Donald was still yelling as he pulled his son by he arm into the house, through the door and into the living room. "I can't believe you were arrested!" He screamed, not bothering to lower his voice. He didn't bother telling his siblings to leave either as they watched their brother with curiosity. "You're supposed to be a bionic hero! Not some sort of drug dealing delinquent!" Chase flinched back and feeling frustrated, angrily replied: "'Supposed' to be a bionic hero? You mean you want me to be that. And what if I don't want to? Maybe I wanted to be different!" Davenport looked like he was about to explode. Chase could practically see the smoke coming out of his ears. Before he could do anything he would later regret, Tasha came running down the stairs. "Donald!" She exclaims, taking her husband's attention off his son for a second. She placed a comforting hand on Chase's shoulder. "Leave the poor kid alone." Donald protested: "He got arrested Tasha. Arrested!" Chase looked about ready to cry now. Tasha rubbed his back comfortingly and pulled him into an embrace. She was hugging him in a way only a mother could and for a second, Chase almost felt safe. "I know Donald but I don't think yelling at him will help with anything," sighed Leo's mother. Gently, she helped Chade stand up and lead him to the stairs. "Why don't you go rest up in one the extra rooms?" she says. "We'll continue this talk tomorrow, using our words (she insists at that part, shooting a glare at Donald) like civilized grown ups." Donald mumbles his agreement half heartedly and Chase runs upstairs. He locks his bedroom door before breaking down into tears.

 _The truth is, I was with Shawn at first. We were smoking and having fun, already planning our escapes from school for next year. Eventually, Shawn's phone rang. He checked it and told me he needed to go. He said: "Chase, I'm really sorry but I have to go. My brothers…" he didn't finish his sentence but I knew what he meant. He reached into that seemingly infinite pocket of his on the front of his favorite blue hoodie (seriously, it's like the pocket doesn't have a bottom. He always pulls all sorts of random shit out of there,). He looked hesitant, as if debating whether or not to do this. Curious, I asked him: "What's wrong?" He sighed and pulled out he pack of weed and a note. He explained to me he was supposed to meet someone here to trade this. He asked me to do it for him. "Sure," I had replied. So I waited. And then, that's when Trent came along and I got arrested._

 _Just as I had predicted, Mr. Davenport was extremely angry. I feel like the only emotions regarding me he's had in the past year have always been negative. He always seems to be mad, frustrated or disappointed at me. He never seems to understand anything I do. He expects me to be perfect and when I'm not, because i am human too, he gets so angry. I tried different methods to cope: drinking, cutting, taking drugs, starving myself, etc. The pain is too real, it's almost unbearable. I don't know what else to say right now than: I hate myself and I hate my life._

 _Signed,_

 _Chase Davenport_

 **A/N: Thank you Setterlsett for reviewing a few chapters ago. I hope you're still enjoying this story. As for everyone else, thanks for reading and please leave a comment!**


	8. August

It has been a month since Chase has been arrested. To be honest, Chase was questioning how loyal Shawn really was and how miserable his life was. He wondered how it would be if he took his own life. I mean, right now nobody seems to care about how he feels so imagine if he killed himself. Chase was in the living room at the time but he felt so miserable that he started to tear up. He took the elevator to the lab and went to the secret tab to get his notebook and his pen. He then opened it to a blank page and started to write:

 _Dear Adam,_

 _I know this is very stupid of me to say, but I feel that you don't love me. Everytime I am around you, you call me names, punch me and etc.. I feel that when you feel my presence, you always find something to say and do. I'm sorry Adam and I love you but I need to leave._

Chase finished Adam's letter, crying, he flipped thepaper to the next page and wrote:

 _Dear Bree,_

 _You are an amazing big sister but it seems like you never cared for me. I go through something, you're always hanging out with Caitlyn. I need something and you are always on your phone. You never paid attention to me and I got sick and tired of it. So think of this as our final goodbye. Love you sister._

Chase was in so much tears right now and he flipped the paper to another page and wrote:

 _Dear Mr. Davenport,_

 _Ever since we found out Douglas was our real creator you've been acting weird with me. You expected more from me but I am only human and I am not perfect. We train everyday and go on missions but that is not real life. I constantly get bullied harassed and so much more and all you cared about was for me to be perfect. But I love you, because you raised us but I don't feel like you care and love me. Until then, this is goodbye 'father'._

Chase really felt this one break his heart, but he kept on moving forward and wrote his letters.

 _Dear Leo,_

 _You have been an amazing step brother and you introduced us to the real world. Except it treated me like shit. You see Trent picks on me more than he picks on you. And when he does it's torture. Hopefully when you read this you'll see how messed up this world treated me. But see you soon lil bro, love ya._

Chase finished Leo's letter and then turned to the other page and writes Tasha's letter.

 _Dear Tasha,_

 _You've been an amazing mother to us, but life was just meaningless to me. Obviously I adore that when Mr. Davenport would me too escalated, you'd calm him down and protect me. I adore you for that, but life is pointless at this point. Love ya and see ya soon._

Chase then flipped the page onto a blank one with tears coming down his eyes, onto his cheek and wrote:

 _August 25th,_

 _Today I wrote my suicide notes as I feel so empty inside right now, and my only option in my head right now is to end it all. I don't know when, but it's in my head to do it soon. I wrote each and everyone a letter. It's only a matter of time until I end my life but I feel this kind of pain that no one understands. Shawn is not loving me the way I want him, and I don't even know if he's loyal to me. All i know is that SUICIDE is the only option i have, as I have been drinking, smoking, cutting class, cutting myself, vomiting every time i eat and ect. But that is not stopping the pain I feel, and it's ALL because I have no one who loves me._

 _Signed,_

 _Chase Davenport_

He then puts the notebook and pen back into his 'safe' and goes into the downstairs bathroom, hysterically crying and he starts to cut himself again.


	9. September

It was the fifth day of a new school year at Mission Creek High. Nothing much had changed. There was still a hole in the staircase, the cafeteria tables and chairs still had the same layout and the Dingo mascot costume was still hot and scratchy and full of sweat. Chase was sitting alone in the cafeteria, his own siblings not even bothering to accompany him at his table. Of course Adam, Bree and Leo preferred to ignore him, the odd brother he was, and eat outside. But Chase didn't really mind, he didn't really care anymore. After writing his suicide letters for everyone, he had been feeling more depressed than ever. He knew he hadn't left anything for Shawn and he was debating whether or not he should. After all, the boys hadn't seen each other since Chase's little 'visit' from the police. He still wasn't quite sold in whether or not his supposed friend ditched him on purpose of it truly was all a big coincidence. He was in such deep thought at the moment, he didn't hear the doors slamming open; didn't see the few other students present scrambling out; didn't smell the strong odor of sweat carried by Trent as he strolled into the room like he owned the place; didn't feel when the bully grabbed his chocolate pudding and squashed it all over Chase's head.

"Haha, hey punk!" Said Trent while laughing at how ridiculous his victim looked. Chase simply grabbed a napkin and repressed a growl, permitting himself to roll his eyes as he wiped away pudding dripping onto his face. "You're such a loser," insulted Trent. "I mean, look at you! You're a fat. Nerdy. Loser." Chase wasn't really listening. He'd gotten to the point where it seemed like Trent's words just rolled off his back like water off a duck's feathers. But it was only like that in appearance. While he may have been putting on a tough exterior in front of his bully, Chase couldn't help but agree with the words he was hearing, each one paining him further. 'Nerd', 'weak', 'weird', 'fat', and more. He was barely paying attention to Trent's rambling when suddenly two particular words grabbed his attention. Those words were 'Shawn' and 'loser' and according to Chase, they absolutely did not go together in the same sentence.

That was the drop of water that tipped the vase. After having been inactive for some unknown reason during the past months, Spike came out angrier than he'd ever been. "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!" Roared out Spike. Trent was surprised and he immediately backed away, his fear and uncomfortableness evident on his face. "I-I don't," he stammered, his eyes wide with fear. Before he had the chance to say anything, Spike tackled him roughly to the ground. He started pounding the bully with hard and aggressive punches to the face. But Trent was strong as well and he managed to flip them so he was on top and Chase/Spike was on the bottom. He started delivering his own punches to Chase's head. Spike, however, was programmed to protect Chase and he had professional martial training. When the bully pulled back his hand for another strike, Spike twisted his body underneath him and bucked his hips upwards. That caused Trent to lose his balance and to fall forwards over Spike's head. He couldn't even say "whoa", Spike had already reversed their position back to the way it was before. Before he could punch tough, Trent began whimpering like a child on the floor. Confused for a second, Spike hesitated. But he hated Trent with all his guts and wanted to rip out the guy's spine. So he followed through with his original idea, which was to pound Trent until something happened.

He was having fun now that Trent was not fighting back anymore. He could do whatever he pleased with the bully who was now his victim. Unfortunately, someone got a strong grip on the back of his shirt and pulled him off. "What do you think you're doing!" Exclaimed Principal Perry. "Get out of the way, lady. Or you might get hurt." Warned Spike, fury still burning in his eyes. Principal Perry looked at him unimpressed and a little weirded out. "What's wrong with your voice? It sounds just like my auntie Rosie!" She claimed as she walked over to Trent. She helped him up because he was her star football player and obviously her favorite student. "What did he do to you!" She asked "Chase," complained Trent, half hiding behind he principal. "Just randomly attacked me." Spike growled at that fake accusation. He lunged for Trent. "You wanna know what randomly being attacked is? This is it!" Trent let out an extremely high pitched squeal of terror and got slammed onto the ground once more. Spike grabbed his arm and pulled him up, kicked him in the knees to make him fall and twisted the arm backwards until they heard the sickening 'CRACK' of a broken bone. "ENOUGH!" Yelled Perry, rushing to Trent's aid. With incredible strength, she pulled Spike away and kept a firm grip on him. His commando app deactivated at that moment. "You," She said sternly. "Detention." Chase was dazed, dizzy and confused. "What..?" He managed to slur out slightly. "No excuses, off to detention you go!" He got pushed aside and towards the lunch ladies who were waiting to escort him to the detention for something he didn't really recall doing.

While in detention, Chase found that the time passed so slowly. Every second felt like an hour; every minute felt like a day. He didn't have anything to do for his phone had been taken away. He couldn't look at anything since he was in the gym and no one else was there (except the lunch ladies standing guard at the door and principal Perry reading some magazines with her feet propped up on the table). He tried to recall what had happened at lunch. He was alone for most of it, until Trent came along and started insulting him. Everything was fine until Trent said something mean about Shawn. And that's when everything went blank. Chase knew for sure his commando app had been activated. He had seen the alert flashing red inside his bionic eye: COMANDO APP - ACTIVATED. But what had triggered it to come out when Chase had been pushed around, bullied, injured so much for the past year, almost? Could it be… Shawn? To be honest, Chase didn't know why he reacted so violently. Why he defended Shawn when he wasn't even sure he could trust him anymore. He may not know what had happened but he knew there was probably a fight involved. He had a couple minor bruises on his arms and he could just feel his eyes swelling up. He also had a throbbing headache which he couldn't quite place. He caught a glance at the clock. Only one minute had passed. He sighed and dived back into his mindless state of thoughts. Still had 57 minutes to go.

After what felt like forever later, Principal Perry glanced at the clock which now read 5:00 pm. With a dramatic sigh, she told Chase. "Alright I'm letting you go. But remember, if anything like this happens again, I'm telling your father and you're getting something much worse than a simple detention." Chase nodded eagerly before grabbing his stuff and scampering off before she could change her mind. He was very lucky that no one was in the living room or the kitchen when he got home. Dropping his bag off by the door, he rushed upstairs to look at himself in the mirror. There was dried pudding in his hair and he sported two black eyes. There was a small cut on his right cheek and another, slightly bigger one on his forehead. Under the stronger light of their bathroom, Chase examines his arms which had purple and blue colored bruises mixed along with long lines of scars from cutting, some fresh and some older. But all of them were crossing over the four original lines he had made, one for his father, one for his siblings, one for his bully, and one for his friend. Chase knew he couldn't just walk around the house with the injuries on his face. He could get questioned. He wore long sleeves so his arms didn't really matter. He opened the second drawer to find some of Bree's makeup. He grabbed one that seemed like about the right shade and tested a bit on his arm. Perfect! It covered the bruises like they weren't there. Chase carefully applied the makeup to his face and put everything back in the drawer. He walked out quickly and headed downstairs.

His siblings were there, lounging on the couch and watching a silly cartoon with Leo. "Oh hey Chase." Said Leo without ungluing his eyes from the TV where Wild-E Coyote was getting squashed by a rock falling from a cliff. Adam and Bree mumbled something that could pass as a hello but they were too busy, one texting, the other trying to make a pyramid out of peanut shells. Chase headed to the elevator and went down to the lab. No one was there since his brothers and sister were all upstairs, Mr. Davenport had another reunion and Tasha just wasn't home. Chase wrote in his notebook:

 _September 7th,_

 _I think I got into a fight today. I don't know for sure since my comando app was activated and i don't remember what happens when Spike's in control. But before everything went black, I know Trent was bullying me and when I came back, Principal perry was there giving me detention. Also, I have a bunch of bruises and cuts as well as a major headache._

 _I used Bree's makeup to cover it up. I hope no one notices I'm wearing it so I won't get teased. Especially Adam, I don't need to give him another reason to call me a girl. But it's not like anyone even looks at my face anymore. Their all too busy to notice my pains._

 _Shawn hasn't been around either. I haven't seen him since I got arrested. But it's not like I don't think of him. Do I still like him? Or not? I'm not sure. It's all just so confusing at the moment._

 _I've said it before and I'll say it again. I really hate myself and I hate this life._

 _Signed,_

 _Chase Davenport._

Chase puts his stuff away. He walks to the elevator, ready to go back upstairs. But something makes him hesitate. After a long moment of indecisiveness, he decided to go back to his capsule. Pulling out his notebook, he flipped it to the pages with the notes written for his family members. He reread them and after hesitating a little more, flipped to a new blank page where he started writing his hardest suicide note yet.

 _Dear Shawn,_

 _We may not have known each other for very long but it felt like we did. We had this special connection that I hadn't felt since forever. Thank you, so much for showing me everything you showed me. Leo might've presented me the world, you let me experience in it._

 _You are my only real friend, I thank you for that too. I don't know how to say this without scarring you off but… I love you Shawn. I wish things could've gone differently and that we could be together but it can never happen. You probably see me as the freak everyone else knew I was now and if you don't, you are even better than I hoped you were. It won't matter now anyway since I'll be dead when you are reading these words._

 _You are the best thing that's happened to me all year. Stay yourself, please, and maybe one day, we'll see each other again._

 _Chase Davenport_


	10. October

Chapter 10; October

"Good night everyone" Leo says as he walks towards the elevator to go to his room. Adam, Bree and Chase puts on their eye masks and enter their capsules. Soon enough everyone is asleep and Mr. Davenport walks upstairs to go comfort his wife, who is devastated because she lost her privilege to news report a incident. As soon as Mr. Davenport left, Chase took his eye mask and tippy toed out of his capsule. Chase then went to the lab restroom and opened the cabinet filled with anesthesia. You see since they didn't have a doctor, they had to do any medical performance in their lab. So Mr. Davenport had anesthesia and other medical items. Chase also took a syringe and a needle. He then made his way upstairs and sneaked out of the house. He then tapped into his system and disabled his GPS system. He then walked to the nearest park to where he lived and there was a bridge near there. When Chase got to the park he sat down on the swings and took out the syringe and needle and put the needle on the syringe. He then took the anesthesia and dumped it on the syringe. He then injected himself and then left the syringe on the floor and walked to the bridge. He climbed up and walked to the edge. He looked at the water which he calculated was 60 feet down. He started to sob thinking about the things that happened in the past 10 months of this year and what he was about to do. I hate my life. End it Chase. No one loves you. You're just an experiment that no one loved. No one will care. That was what was in Chase's head while he was on the edge of the bridge and he was ready to jump. As he was about to jump he felt someone pull him and then everything went black.

Shawn's POV:

I saw Chase on the edge of the bridge and I quickly grabbed him. You see I love Chase and I don't want to show or tell him or anyone because i'm afraid i'll get judged. When I saw him on the edge on the bridge it broke my heart and I quickly pulled him before he could kill himself. I called my friend from my old school to come pick us up and I carry Chase down the bridge. When I got down I slapped Chase's cheek but he was knocked out cold. I. HAVE. TO. FIND. WHAT. HE. TOOK. I quickly go to the nearest park which was literally 5 feet away and set him down on the slide. I then run around the park to see if I found anything. After finally searching the whole park, except for the swings, I enter the swings area. I find a bottle that says anesthesia and I found a syringe. I then take them and put them in my pocket and rush over to Chase. A few minutes later my friend arrived and drove us to my house. Luckily my parents weren't home, so i I took Chase into my room and laid him down on my bed. I went to my mini fridge and took Chase a bottle of water. While I waited for Chase to wake up I searched his pockets for his phone or anything as it's 12 AM right now. His parents MUST be worried sick. His phone is not in his pocket so I just waited until Chase woke up.

1 hour later*

Chase's POV:

"Hello, where am I?" I ask groggily still dizzy.. "Don't worry Chase, I'm here" I hear someone say. It sounds like Shawn. "Shawn?" I say confused. "Yes Chase, I'm here" Shawn replies. "What happened" I ask. "Chase, why did you walk to that bridge, you could've killed yourself" Shawn says. "Because I want to die" I say crying at the words I say. "Why? I'm here for you" Shawn says to me but I shake my head. "No, I wanted to die" I say sobbing hysterically at this point. Shawn hugs me but I back away and start running towards his front door. I then ran towards the park which was only ten blocks away, so it wasn't a quick run. At this point I stopped to catch my breath and started thinking. I failed my suicide attempt. Shawn ruined my suicide attempt. But why? He doesn't even love me! I then proceed to run but I pass the park and I go to my house. It's 1:15 AM and I need to go back home. I also want to write about what happened! I do a thermo-scan and I see no one at the living room, so I open the door and sneak my way back into the lab. I see Adam and Bree sleeping so I go to my capsule and I take out my notebook and pen, and I start writing

 _October 25th,_

 _Today I snuck out and I tried to commit suicide, but somehow Shawn 'saved' me. To be honest I don't care about anything or IF he even loves me. He had a lot of time to think about it and he never told me. I am sick and tired of getting bullied and I WANT TO DIE. Today I drugged myself with anesthesia so I won't feel any pain while I fell down the bridge, but that went wrong. My family didn't notice I was gone and I don't want to wake them up, so imma wrap this up._

 _Signed,_

 _Chase Davenport_

And I put the notebook and pen away, get my eye mask and fall asleep, still thinking about today and how I could've been happily dead by now.


	11. November

The month of October had passed by so quickly it almost felt surreal, like it never even happened. Halloween had barely just ended, with Adam dressing up as Spider-Man, Leo wearing a Batman costume and Bree just using the excuse to wear tons of makeup (she went as a sexy black cat). Chase just stayed home because he felt so sick, sick of everything of his life and even though he didn't really know it, he was a little angry at Shawn for 'rescuing' him the other night.

And then before they knew it, November came around, bringing with it cold winds and stormy weather. It was a depressing month and it definitely did not help ease Chase out of his suicidal mode. While being found by Shawn wasn't exactly part of his plans, Chase was lucky it wasn't Adam, Bee, Leo, Tasha or Mr. Davenport that found him. It was bad enough someone found him trying to end his own life, he definitely did not need his family learning about the failed attempt. Shawn had been hesitant about letting Chase go back home alone. He almost literally had to beg his 'savior' not to tell on him. Shawn had reluctantly accepted with the condition that he would be watching him closely. Chase had accepted quickly, eager to leave. How he regretted taking that deal now.

Being constantly on Shawn's radar was extremely stressful for Chase. Whenever he thought he was alone, Shawn would pop out of nowhere. Sometimes when he is walking home from school, Chase just feels like he's being watched. He doesn't know exactly where he is but he feels certain that Shawn is somewhere hiding inside some bushes or ducking behind cars and just waiting on Chase. But as uncomfortable as the situation was, it did make Chase wonder about Shawn's (as well as his own) feelings again. He knew he liked Shawn. But did the other boy feel the same? When he stood in his capsule at night, Chase couldn't help but wonder why Shawn saved him.

After two weeks, Chase decided to talk to Shawn. He stayed behind after school, telling his siblings he was going to the library. He knew Shawn was listening and would interfere if he went anywhere else or talked to anyone he deemed 'suspicious'. After waiting for fifteen minutes, Chase started walking back to the his house alone. Well, in appearance only of course. He could still feel Shawn lingering behind him somewhere. He stops at the park and calls out: "I know you're there, come out Shawn."

A few seconds passed before the older boy came out from behind a red car and stood tally in front of Chase. He stood with his arms crossed over his chest and a serious expression clouding his face. Chase took a deep breath: he had to know! He wanted to ask Shawn about something that had been bothering him almost since day one.

"If you didn't know me, would you want us to be friends?" asked Chase.

"No." Replied Shawn.

"Are we friends right now?" Asked Chase again.

"Yes." Answered Shawn.

"As a friend, do you care about me?"

"Yes."

"Do you like me?"

"No."

Hurt, Chase ran back ditched Shawn and ran all the way home crying. If Shawn had told him he liked him, Chase would've been ready to at least try to get better, for him. But all the negative answers from His friend? Shawn was the drop that spilled the vase. He didn't have anything to live for anymore. He was home alone again because Mr. Davenport and Tasha were out on a date and his siblings were all out with friends. He ran to the bathroom and all he wanted to do was cut, cut until he couldn't feel anything at all anymore. But he couldn't find his blades! He opened every drawer and every cabinet in the bathroom but there wasn't anything sharp. Shawn must've taken them away.

Chase couldn't cut and he couldn't use anything else than his blades because Davenport was extremely protective of his stuff and if even one kitchen knife was to go missing he would freak. So Chase went down to the lab and took out his notebook. He wrote:

 _November 17th,_

 _I finally asked Shawn how he feels about me. I had hope for a minute before talking to him but truthfully, I should've expected his answer. He doesn't love me. Even though I expected it, hearing it come out of the mouth of the boy I love so much hurts. It hurts me a lot. I want to cut but I'm sure he took away my blades. Why does my life suck so much? I wish I could just die right now._

 _Signed,_

 _Chase Davenport_

After that, he put his stuff away and cried himself to sleep.


	12. December

Chapter Twelve;

Today, December 24th at 11 o'clock, Chase was sitting inside the upstairs bathroom crying hysterically. One hour until Christmas and the others were wide awake. But today, Chase wasn't exactly excited for the 'best holiday'. In fact, Chase was about ready to end his own life and had no regret in what he was about to do. The young teenager got up from the floor and locked the door. Next Chase opened the cabinet and saw the Tylenol bottle that was 500 mg, opened the bottle and dumped around 50 pills into his hands. Without hesitation Chase swallowed them and then started crying.

I'm ending my life today. The world will finally be happy. This is the best thing I'll ever do. You're nothing. Those were the thoughts of poor Chase Davenport and a few minutes later everything went black.

\--Time skip; One hour later, 12:00 AM; Christmas Day.--

Tasha's POV:

Everything was perfect, except I don't feel the presence of my 'step son' Chase. I quickly go upstairs and check in the guest bed and see no Chase, so I decide to go to the lab and check if he is sleeping in his capsule. When I go to the lab and see no Chase I get worried and go back upstairs. I then demand the others to go look for Chase, Adam, Donald and I went upstairs while Bree and Leo looked for him in the other floors of the house. "Chase honey, where are you?" I ask loudly and Adam runs towards the bathroom door. "Chasey if you don't open this door in five seconds, I'll break this door down!" Adam yelled. He quickly broke down the door with his super strength and what I saw inside was horrific. "CHASEY, WAKE UP!" Adam said and I quickly ran to Chase and tried to shake him awake but nothing. I then see a Tylenol 500 mg bottle and see some pills scattered all over the floor. "BREE, LEO CALL 911 QUICKLY" I yell and start crying. "Honey there is no time to wait for ambulance, Bree will super speed Adam, Chase and I to the hospital and then pick you and Leo up" my husband said and picked Chase up and demanded Bree to super speed them to the hospital. In less than a minute Bree appears again and takes Leo and I to the hospital and I see Donald rushing with Chase in his hands and demands immediate care. They quickly put Chase in a stretcher and take him to a room. It took only five minutes until the doctor came back to us and gave us horrific information. "I'm sorry to inform you, we tried everything we can but Chase passed away", At that point I felt tears in my eyes as pain and guilt circulated inside me. "How did Chase pass away?" Bree asked with pain in her voice and tears in her eyes. "Chase overdosed on over 50 500 mg tylenol pills which is equal to about 25,000 mg" the doctor said. At that point I broke into tears and the doctor let us say our goodbyes to Chase. We went inside room 422, where Chase was and saw him lying unconscious. It honestly broke my soul to see him like this. "Chase, I know I wasn't your biological mom but I will always love you" I said to him and hysterically crying, that I had to step out. I sat down in the chairs crying for ten minutes until Donald, Adam, Bree, and Leo came out the room in tears in their eyes, "It's time to go, I'll arrange the funeral and burial at home" Donald said and I nodded as we got into our car and drove home devastated from what happened today.


	13. Reactions

It was December 26, only a day after Chase had overdosed. Without the young bionic teen, the Dooley-Davenport family was already falling apart. Instead of celebrating the Holidays with friends and family, each of them retreated to their rooms to cry and mourn in their own ways.

Tasha POV:

After supper I pick up the dishes, scrap the leftovers into a plastic container for tomorrow and kiss each of my remaining children on the forehead. It doesn't really feel like it's happening. These are just robotic actions I do every night. They don't have a meaning anymore. I enter my room and see Donald sitting on the edge of the bed, facing away from me. He didn't eat with us tonight. Not that we really ate much. Adam had a slice of pizza, Bree barely ate a bite of her salad and Leo had been pushing his food around his plate for the entirety of the meal. I say goodnight to my husband without meaning it. I don't feel like sharing a bed tonight so I grab some blankets and a pillow and head into one of the guest rooms affords the hall. I kneel down next to the bed and silently pray to all the gods above, the ones I believe in first but then also all of the ones I know from different religions, for my baby to be okay. I just wanted him to be happy. I know I wasn't Chase's birth mother but I loved him like my own. How could I let this happen? Somehow, someway; I feel like this is all my fault. What kind of mother am I?

Donald POV:

Chase is gone. Chase is gone. Chase is gone. It's all I can think about. Tasha went to sleep in a guest room and I'm all alone in here. The bed feels too big. The room, the house feels empty even though there are still five people living in it. Chase, my nephew, no, my SON is dead. And why? Because I couldn't be a proper father and recognize that while he may be bionic, he is still human and needed time to be there for him. I cry into my pillow and sob all night long. Chase, the smartest boy in the world, died of an overdose. How could I let this happen? Somehow, someway; I feel like this is all my fault. What kind of father am I?

Adam POV:

I stare at the capsules. Bree is stepping into hers. She doesn't talk to me but I know she was crying. Her eyes are all red and puffy. I step into mine. This feels weird. This feels wrong. The lab feels empty without Chase in the capsule next to mine. I try to sleep but I just can't. My baby bro, my little Chasey was hurting so bad for so long and all I did was tease and mock and hurt him more. I hear Bree open her door and speed upstairs. I don't say anything. It's been a few minutes. I give up on sleeping. I open my door and go into Chase's capsule. It has a faint smell of him. I sit on the floor and cry. I just wanted to be as close to him as I could. How could I let this happen? Somehow, someway; I feel like this is all my fault. What kind of brother am I?

Bree POV:

I was in the bathroom crying all afternoon. I knew my eyes were red but I didn't care. Not when my little brother is gone. Dead makes it feel too real. Gone is a easier word. Not that there can ever be an easy way to say that my little brother killed himself. I'm such a horrible big sister. He was hurting all alone and I never even said anything. I saw the cuts on is wrists when they let us see his body in the hospital. He was so skinny, his ribs were sticking out of his hospital gown. Tonight, I don't want to be in the lab. I don't know where to go so I just run out and go wherever I feel. My feet take me to Chase's bedroom, the one place that he had that was private and belonged to him. Only him and no one else. I look around the room and how was I so foolish? There are hints everywhere, razors and knives he used to slit his wrists open, drug powder on the carpet, medical bandages from the bathroom laying on the ground. I lie down in his bed and breath into his covers. His smell is still there mixed with that of blood. I look and see they are stained with a mix of old and new blood. At this sight, I cry even more and fall asleep hugging my brother's blanket in my arms. How could I let this happen? Somehow, someway; I feel like this is all my fault. What kind of sister am I?

Leo POV:

I am in my room, on my phone. I'm scrolling through all the picture of Chase that I have. Some of them are silly, some of them are serious. Most of them are group pictures or academic awards he won but the one thing they all have in common aside the fact Chase is in them is that they're old. They date back from our first and part of our second year together. I barely have any pictures of him alone and in the few he's in, he's never looking at the camera. I go back to the old pictures. There's all of us at the beach that one time Mom wanted a tech free week-end. Adam, Bree and Chase ended up losing the minivan lab as a dangerous solar thingy was coming to earth. I chuckle at the memory. And there! The photograph shows me and Chase holding up a large trophy in between us with Big D pouting slightly in the background. We had just won the robot throw down and let's just say, Big D was kinda of upset about it. That was funny. I keep looking through pictures for the rest of the night, remembering the good times and the bad, laughing and crying at the same time. I know we aren't related by blood but I admire Chase. He's really smart and nice even though he can be a little annoying when he keeps saying how he is the smartest man on earth, I still love my step-brother no less. He looks so alive in these pictures, not like he'll be tomorrow, lying in his coffin and getting buried underground. How could I let this happen? Somehow, someway. I feel like this is all my fault. What kind of step-brother am I?

Shawn POV:

I heard the news of a young boy dying of an overdose at the general hospital yesterday. They described him as a "short male with brown hair and brown eyes". It was said his family, which consisted of a father, two siblings, a stepmother and a stepbrother were mourning their loved one and that the funeral and burial would be done in two days, on December 27. I know a lot of boys can be "short with brown hair and eyes." It's actually a pretty vague description if you ask me and while I know Chase's family fights that description, I don't want to get ahead of myself. I walked to the hospital and asked to see this dead body. I presented myself as a friend of the family, because what else can I say? They lead me into his room and the nurse tells me I have five minutes before leaving and closing the door behind her. My fears are confirmed. It is Chase lying there on the bed. I look at the scars running down his arms. I trace one carefully. I was afraid to admit my feelings to him but a part of me wanted to. Now that he's passed away it's too late but something in me still wanted to confess. I sit in the edge of his bed and whisper: "oh Chase…" I sigh. "I could probably ask why and how but I won't. I know why you didn't tell anyone and how you felt about the whole world being against you. Trust me, I know. I've been in your situation before. I…" I hesitate. Should I do this? I decide for. After all, I'm alone in a room with a dead body. Nothing to lose right? So I push back my sleeves and show him. "I've never showed anyone else my scars but I thought I'd let you know. I wish it didn't have to go down like this Chase because, well, I like you. No, I don't." I grab his hand and let myself slide off the bed. I kneel next to it. "I love you." I whisper, kissing the top of his hand softly. How could I let this happen? Somehow, someway. I feel like this is all my fault. What kind of lover am I?


	14. Ending

It was January, a full week since Chase passed away and the Davenport- Dooley family were donating and emptying Chase's things in the lab. The family was organizing Chase's things until they heard Bree say loud and clear "There is something strange in the floor, in Chase's capsule". Donald then looked over at Chase's capsule floor to see a crack and he pulled the floor open. "What is this?" Donald said, as he found a notebook, pen, cigarettes, weed and rolling paper under the floor. Bree quickly took the notebook and opened to the first page, which was written of January last year. Donald turned to Bree, to see her crying and she super sped with the book to anywhere but in front of her family.

Bree's POV:

I went all the way to France to read this notebook, as I didn't want my family to see this notebook. The truth is I know what this notebook contains, but I didn't know that Chase was serious and ended his own life! How can I be so stupid to let this happen? I knew about this! I flipped through the first page and read what it contained. As I read one of Chase's examples of how Mr. Davenport completely ignores him, I quickly became guilty because I was in that example. I'M THE REASON CHASE COMMITED SUICIDE! I flip to the next page and read why Chase chose to drink in the bar that day. At this point I'm mad at Adam, Mr. Davenport and myself. WE KILLED CHASE!

It's been thirty minutes and I'm on the last page before his suicide notes and that is when I decided to stop reading. I super speed home and drop off the book on the cyber desk. I then see my annoying family and they say nothing to me. "Can I read it next?" Donald asked. "Sure, why not it just includes some horrible stuff WE did to Chase" I say crying in anger and super speed to the guest room and lock the door. It's horrible without my little brother here annoying me. I feel nothing but guilt that my brother has chosen to end his life! I could've prevented my brother from killing himself if I weren't selfish, because I knew of those letters he left behind.

Donald's POV:

It's been an hour since I read Chase's letters, and I feel like a total dickhead. Knowing I did nothing to help my son is unbearable. I then turn to his suicide letters and see a letter to everyone in the family and to someone named Shawn. I turn to my note and read it, and as I read the note I start crying. The truth is that I loved Chase, but chose to ignore him because I felt he wanted all the attention, but I never knew Chase was capable of ending his own life. I feel guilt all over myself and close the notebook. I feel devastated and I decide to rip out the suicide letters left behind for Adam, Bree, Leo, Tasha, a boy named Shawn and mines from the notebook. After I rip the pages out I grab a lighter, go outside and light the notebook on fire. I then hear Bree yell at me but I ignore her. I go upstairs to my room and lock myself inside. I hear Leo knock on the door and say "I know you set the book on fire, but is there anything left behind?" I reply with "Yes, there is a letter for everyone in the family and a boy named Shawn, now please leave me alone" as I do not want to speak with anyone and be ALL alone!

Everyone in the Davenport- Dooley family read the suicide letter Chase left behind for each and one of them and they were all devastated and filled with guilt. Especially Adam, Bree and Donald Davenport. Douglas came over as they set aside the family beef to be there for his family and KIDS. He already had lost one, he didn't want to miss out on his last "two". In reality the family was broken and everyone has been to themselves. They all missed Chase and feel broken without him.

 **A/N: this is going to be the final chapter. Thank you very much to everyone for reading this story, me and Pumkin very much hope you enjoyed it.**


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